Back On Track

Well it’s been a couple of days back on track in full force and I feel pretty darn good. When I am watching my food intake carefully I always go to bed at night feeling very accomplished and satisfied. 

I haven’t been to the gym in about three weeks (oops!) but I went back yesterday and today and I feel very sore and out of shape but good. The thing is, I love going to the gym. I love being a “gym person” and seeing the same people day in and day out…however, I have a major motivational problem. It’s called laziness. Ha. I wish I wasn’t so lazy or full of excuses but I am and that is just something I need to work to change over the next year.

Happy new year! I know 2016 is going to be the best year yet!

Moving Forward

I have been our of commission for a few days. We went to Buffalo for a few days to celebrate the life of my sweet Auntie Ruth who was called home in her sleep last weekend. She was 100.5 years old and feisty lady!  

She loved her family and her friends, and the strangers she delivered Meals on Wheels to for 50 years. She will be dearly missed.

So I am back on the diet train in full force this morning. I am headed to the gym momentarily (man, I have not worked out in a long time!) and will be headed to the grocery shortly after that.

I am craving some order in my life. I have a little over a week before I head back to the UC Weightloss center and I would like to be down a few pounds before I go there.

I must say, I think this is the first Christmas Holiday in years that I have not gained a significant amount of weight. While I was perfect, I did make better choices then I would have if I had not been conciliatory about the food I was putting in my mouth.

Just Do It

Just Do It!

God bless the marketing department at Nike. When they came up with hat slogan I am sure it was supposed to be for one season, but here we are some twenty years it is an American icon and those three little words mean so much.

To me, just do it means stop complaining and get it over with. Stop talking about it ad nauseum and get going. Stop complaint about your current situation and change it.

That is what I am really trying to do in this first month of my extreme weight loss plan. I just need to do it. There is no sense in complaining or talking about it or whining. I just need to do it.

Writing these thoughts down helps keep things in perspective. It feels more real when I put it all out there.

Tonight we are meeting friends at the zoo lights. My kids have no idea which makes it even more fun. Hopefully I don’t need to focus on food and just enjoy the memories I am making with the kids.

Groundhog Day

Do you remember that movie, Groundhog Day? Bill Murray’s character wakes up every morning to the same thing happening again and again?Man, I love that movie.

But, sometimes I feel like my life is a play on that movie and I don’t like it at all. This very restrictive diet is just that, very restrictive. I have a choice of about four items for each meal and snack and that is about it. I don’t love it or hate it. It is what it is.

Today I went off track for lunch because frankly I am so tired of salad. I have never been a real lettuce person to begin with, so the thought of eating another salad made my stomach turn. So I decided to split a kids meals with Ryan. Chicken fingers and fries. Now, the old Liz would have had a basket to herself, but the improving Liz split a kids meal that had approximately three chicken tenders and fifteen fries total in it. So I had a tender (yes, one) and a few fries and then I ate the celery and carrots that came with the husband’s meal.

And I left feeling guilty. 

Like I had made a bad choice.

And I felt ashamed.

Then I snapped myself out of it and realized this is real life and not a movie. I will have to make choices for the rest of my life and I need to make good ones but I also can make some bad ones in moderation and still be okay.

The end.

It’s Tough

well this is attractive…

The picture above is from two weeks ago when I had my metabolism evaluated. In good news, I have a very high resting metabolism. In kind of annying news, I eat too much for that to matter.

This week has been tough, like really really really tough. As a teacher, the week before break is brutal when it comes to food…cookies, luncheons, dips, crackers, candy, oh my!!! 
I guess this whole time of year is hard for everyone. I am glad I started this journey before Christmas because I have really been put in check. While I may be making some mistakes here and there, it is nothing compared to what it would have been.

I am looking forward to a lot of cuddles with these three over Christmas break.

  
 

I Lost 30 Pounds!!!!

Ha!

My scale said that I lost 36 pounds this past week.

Unbelievable. Truly.

Of course, I really did not lose 36 pounds; obviously my scale is not calibrated correctly.  I guess I should put a new scale on my list for Santa.  I really have been a good girl this year.

I keep going back and forth about weighing myself weekly or just waiting for my monthly visits with the doctor.  I go back on January 6 so it might be nice to go in there with total surprise at my results.  But it also might be good to keep track of my own progress.

#weightlossstrugglesnotstruggles

In other news, this week has been a little bit of a struggle.  There are just so many goodies and parties and festive things happening and it IS hard to resist temptations.  I am trying my best and thinking long term but, man, it is tough. I am hoping once this week is over I can get some workouts in over the break.  I am just so bogged down with “things” and commitments in the evening that it is hard to do anything but survive.

Minute by minute.  Day by day.

 

Weekend Warrier

It was a crazy busy weekend that included two cookie exchanges, breakfast with Santa, a Christmas festival, party with the neighbors, grandma visit, church, and major spring (winter) cleaning.

Man, I am tired just thinking about it.

Now, in years past this weekend would have been a total feeding frenzy.  I mean, TWO cookie exchanges…sign me up!!!! But this year was different.  I am on a mission and my mission was not going to be swayed by a few cookies.  So I decided Friday that I was going to stay on track no matter what.  My first cookie exchange was easy breezy…I ate zero cookies and drank a glass of water.  WIN!

No breakfast for me at Breakfast with Santa, but lots of fun memories made with my mom and the kids (Shawn was working).  It was an old fashioned type of event and we loved every minute of it.  With or without food involved (the kids ate, bye the way).

 

image

They just found out they are on the naughty list

 

So I am taking it day by day, actually minute by minute.  It has been difficult at times.  I am not going to lie, I have to spend a lot of time and energy thinking about food and what needs to go in and out of my body.  I do think the idea of timed meals is very smart.  I absolutely appreciate the alarm that goes of every three hours signaling it is time to eat!

I did splurge a bit at my mother-in-laws exchange on Sunday.  I had a few yummy appetizers and a couple of cookies and they were worth it.  They tasted so much better than just shoveling the food in.  In fact, I have noticed that all food tastes better when you are hungry and eating for fuel.

So, yay for me!  My first weekend down and I can honestly say I am very proud of how I handled all of these Christmas indulgences.

 

The Butt that Started it All

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This is the picture that is a turning point for me.  I love it.  My family looks so adorable and it is just such a sweet representation of who we are.  But, the sixth member of the family (my ass) looks so HUGE!!!!  Really, I love this picture but I absolutely hate how I look it in.

I can see why so many parents (moms specifically) shy away from getting in front of the camera when they are feeling in not such great form.  I never thought I could ever have let myself get to this point in my life.

I can’t let myself continue on this path.

So I am making aggressive changes in my life.  I started a very strict physician assisted diet this week.  From what I can tell by tracking all my foods for the last few days my calorie intake is between 1000-1300 calories.  I was instructed to eat 5-6 small meals a day. I start with breakfast at 7am, snack at 10am, lunch at 1pm, snack at 4pm, dinner at 7pm, and a snack at 10pm if necessary (who am I kidding? I am asleep by 10pm!!!) My doctor told me to set a timer for those meals/snacks so that I do not skip them.  It is important for the metabolism to stay ahead of hunger.

It is amazing how little one can eat and still be alive 🙂

The week has been a real lesson in moderation.

I am hungry, but not hungry.  I know that makes no sense, but I actually think most of my eating is pretty mindless. I eat because there is food around and I want it.  I have not really developed any hunger cues  in my life, so this timed eating is actually teaching me how to know when I am hungry and when my body needs fuel.  I won’t say it has been easy because it is not AT ALL.  However, it is very logical.  I eat what I am supposed to when I am supposed to.  No more, no less.

Here is what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast:  Egg and Cheese on whole grain bread
morning snack: 2 tbsp hummus and baby carrots
Lunch:  Brussel Sprouts and Glazed chicken with rice (Lean Cuisine)
afternoon snack: 3/4 cups low fat cottage cheese
Dinner:  Beef Stew (medium bowl)

Everything tasted really good, but I was also very hungry.

Now, this diet works for during the week when nothing is going on except a very predictable work and home schedule.  My question is, how is going to work on the weekend????

I don’t know.

But I am going to stick to the plan.  I see the doctor again on January 6 and I am hoping to be down some major pounds.  I am giving myself two days relaxed (Christmas Eve and New Years Eve).

So, we will see.

The Journey Begins

I started a very aggressive diet plan today.  I want to document everything on here because this is a space I know I will be able to look to over the course of the next weeks, months and years.  It might not be pretty, but I think it is going to be pretty great.  At this point, this is a diet, not a true lifestyle change.  It may turn into a lifestyle but at this point I am having a hard time looking past how little food I am actually eating.

I have been in contact with a physician about my weight and how I might take some positive steps in getting out of this vicious cycle of losing gaining losing gaining.  The plan I have been given is very straight forward and very restrictive.  I am to eat very small meals (around 200-300 calories) every three hours.

I have struggled with my weight since second grade.  I was never really fat a a child, but I was also a big girl ~ tall, big boned, and just bigger than everyone else.  I had very high self esteem and I was very athletic, so I never really let my size get in my way, but I always was aware that I was bigger than everyone else.

Through my adulthood I have been on as many diets as you can think of.  In my early twenties I was very successful with Weight Watchers (I lost about 75 pounds and kept it off for about 5 years) but marriage and children and lifestyle put the weight back on and now I am at a point where I am raising babies instead of having babies and I am ready to make a commitment to myself for the long haul.

It is not going to be easy, but I know it is going to be worth it.