Well, it has been a month since I started my journey to a healthy weight assisted by a physician. I feel good about where I am headed and it seems like I am on a path in the right direction. I am not under any sort of delusion that this process will be easy or that I will not struggle along the way. This is going to be the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I am committed to the process and I know I can only do the best I can do minute by minute.
- I lost 13 pounds this month!!!! With Christmas and New Years and everything in between (i.e. food and sitting) I managed not just to maintain my weight but lose a significant amount. This is the first time in about 15 years that I have not gained over the holidays!
- The PA (physician assistant) was very, extremely, super-over-the-top happy about my results. I don’t know if he was just pulling my chain, but he seemed genuinely surprised by my results and said this was very atypical of most patients.
- I am a people-pleaser through and through, so making the PA happy made me feel extremely proud and happy myself. His response will definitely give me fuel to continue the journey.
- It is very evident that I am addicted to food and this is something that I am going to have to work through for the rest of my life. I am not sure if I will ever truly heal from this addiction.
- I gave up my beloved Cherry Coke Zero. I guess this might be considered a good thing, but I really LOVE that drink and it has been a hard pill to swallow.
- I majorly failed on the exercise front this past month. I was definitely more lazy than I have been in a long time. I may have made it to the gym three times in December. Major fail.
- It makes me sad and depressed that this struggle is real and will be just that, a struggle, for the rest of my life.
- I am keeping this weight loss a secret from most people which makes the journey very lonely. I know in time I will share with other, but right now my husband and a very close friend are the only two that know.
- I hate feeling like I am the fattest person in the room. Ugh. I feel ugly and huge everyday of my life. I know I am working to not feel this way, but the feelings at this moment are there and they are UGLY and EMBARRASSING and HUMILIATING.
So, I am moving forward to Month #2 and feeling over-all good about the direction I am moving in. I have to keep telling myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint and I will have really great days and really sucky days and that is just part of the race. Onward…