I Ran a Freakin 5k

My girlfriends and I have a private page on Facebook (we’re cool like that). 

Yesterday Cathy posted a blog from not-your-average-mom about running. I have always wanted to be a runner but I didn’t think I could do it. Suzy (NYAM) said to start by running 30 seconds every 5 minutes for 30 minutes. And just do it. Don’t look at anyone else; don’t feel judged; just do it.

Today was the day.

I started out slow and did my first 5 minutes and realized something pretty quickly…

Running for 30 seconds (at about and 11 minute pace) was pretty easy.  Yes, you heard me right. EASY.

So the second five minute cycle I did another 30 seconds of running and the a lightbulb went off…

I could probably run for a minute.

And then I did it. I walked 4 minutes and then ran a minute.

It was hard but not impossible.

And then halfway through I thought, “you should do a 5k so you have a base time to work from.”

And then I did it.

I walked/ran a 5k in 40.35. 

Not a great time, but a great start and a great confidence booster.

I am so happy with myself. 

I did hard things today. I accomplished something.

YES!!!

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A Great Weekend

Full disclosure…I am thirty (maybe more) pounds lighter than I was last summer I say maybe more, because prior to December 8th I had not weighed myself in over a year and I might have gone up or down a few times during that time. 

I am proud to be moving in the downward direction. I am starting to see a bit of a change in how my clothes fit and how I look in pictures and all of that good stuff.

 

This weekend was Confirmation for my students and I actually did not dread getting dressed for it. In fact, I almost felt like I had a new wardrobe of dresses to choose from. I felt confident and like I actually looked presentable for the event. I had a great day. When I got home I played soccer in the park with Megan while watching Ryan and Tyler play on the playground. After that Shawn started a fire in the pit (it got a little chilly so it was a perfect night for it), I made dinner on the grill and we just hung out together. The weather was beautiful and when I laid my head down at the end of the night I felt like a complete success as a wife, mother, teacher, and friend.

 

Yesterday my family decided to cash in all the gift cards we have saved over the past year to get our Kings Island passes. For our family KI is like a second home. We pretty much spend every weekend of the spring there and in the summer we go almost every day. The water park is where we spend most of our time with a park day mixed in on days that it is a little rainy or overcast (we have been to this rodeo a few times and know what the best times to go are). It also felt good to get dressed to go to KI yesterday I put on shorts and they slipped right on and I had plenty of tops to choose from. I even went on a few rides and it felt good to sit in the seat thirty pounds lighter.


 

Then Megan wanted to go on the Racers. It is a roller coaster that was built in the 70’s and you might have seen it featured on the Brady Bunch. As most fat people know, being able to fit comfortably in seats is a major issue, whether it be a lawn chair, a dining room chair, booths in restaurants, or any type of seat that has arms. You spend a lot of time speculating on if you will fit or not. I knew as I was walking up and saw people sitting there that it was going to be interesting…

 

Well, my friends, that fit was TIGHT. I mean so tight that I was completely uncomfortable and felt like a stuffed sausage in the casing. UGH…I hate that feeling. And I had a reality check…I may have lost thirty pounds and I am super proud of that but I have a ways to go and I need to keep plugging along.

I don’t want my kids to think of me as the “fat mom” who had to sit on the sidelines while they participated in life. I want to be the type of mom that gets out there and experiences things alongside her kids. This, in a nutshell, is why I spend so much time thinking about food, calculating food, researching food, exercising, etc. Because, at the end of the day my identity matters. My kids deserve the best mom in the world and I deserve to be the best mom I can be. Through all the ups and downs of this journey I know that in the end their happiness and my happiness is all that matters.

So that is why even though I was so tired this morning and I had to drag myself out of bed I still did it, because I know the only way I can go in the right direction is to do hard things.


 

Step Aerobics Ain’t No Joke

Today was a Bootcamp morning.

I was running extremely late (waking up at 4:50…GASP!) and I barely had time to get myself together (brushing teeth be damned!).

I let the dog out and made it out the door by 5:05.

I know what you are thinking, “girl, take a chill pill, your class doesn’t start until 5:30 and you are only 5 minutes away.”

Here’s the thing…my “former self” would have used getting up 10 minutes later than normal as an excuse to scrap the whole day, go back to bed, get up later, and grab a McDonald’s Value Meal before heading to work.

That’s what I did.

All.The.Time.

This is where anxiety plays tricks with my mind…it sneaks in and takes control of my thoughts and makes me feel like because I made a mistake my whole day is ruined (at 4:50 am). Waking up 10 minutes late throws my entire schedule off and makes me feel like I am a worthless, overweight, ugly, fat, lonely, disgusting soul.   And one day turns into one week and one month and then six moths go by and I am heavier both physically and spiritually.

But not today.

Today I was kind to myself.  I got up, got dressed, I did brush my teeth, headed downstairs and got it together to get where I needed to be.

This is MAJOR progress.

And I am super proud of myself.  Because as much as my mind likes to trick me into thinking it..

I am NOT worthless.

I am NOT a disgusting soul.

and that feels really good to say out loud.

 

Bootcamp was old-fashioned Step Aerobics…

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Step Aerobics is TOUGH!

 

Mixed in with a lot of this…

step aerobics

With a lot of burpees and stuff like this

And then an outdoor segment that involved sprints and lunges and more sprints and more sprints and more sprints.

It was VERY VERY VERY VERY challenging but I loved it.

And I felt great afterwards.

What challenges are you facing during your journey to a healthy lifestyle?

Frustration and Motivation

I have tried to post my monthly “The Good the Bad and the Ugly” three times and each time I hit publish it get lost in the Internet world.  I will try again tomorrow but I am kind of done with the whole thing (so frustrating).

We have been busy.  Megan and Tyler both had games this weekend.  Shawn worked all weekend but he was able to split the game duties because they were at the same time (of course!). The both played their little hearts out and I was so proud of them.  It is amazing how much they have improved since last spring.

This morning I was so tired that all I wanted to do was stay under the covers and get an extra few minutes of rest.  After hitting the snooze button three times I got myself up and made it to the gym for a 45 minute sweat session.  I tried the Elliptical Trainer today and it was super hard and I was very sweaty by the end.  When I looked at the calorie count I was surprised to see that I had burned almost double the calories that I do on the treadmill.  I do not count exercise into my daily calorie goal, but it is nice to see it pop up on the MyFitnessPal app.

I spend so much time thinking about food, calculating food, and making sure I eat the right amount of food that it has somewhat taken over my life.  I know this is a season and I am in the midst of major weight loss so I am fine with it, but, man, it is intense. I bought a different kind of Glucerna Shakes at the store (they were on sale) and they taste DISGUSTING!!!  It has totally thrown me off my game.  On one hand I feel like I need t just suck it up and drink them (they are expensive!) but on the other hand I am not sure if I can stomach them.  I hate when things like this happen because I am so cheap and now I refuse to waste these things.

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#DISGUSTING #Abbotletmedown #cantstomachthem

On a better note, I discovered Justin’s Almond Butter in small serving packets and they have somewhat changed my life. I am sure I am behind the game on this as I feel like the rest of the world knows this…but if you have been under a rock (like I have) go out and get some.

justins

The Maple and Vanilla are especially awesome

I think that’s all for the day.  Hope your week is going well.

Has anyone tried a new exercise that you have enjoyed????

What I have Learned from Deprivation

Well, this morning did not go as planned. I set my alarm for 4:35 and it never went off. Someone (I will blame Ryan) turned the volume off of my alarm.  Before you ask, yes, I have an old-fashioned alarm clock on my nightstand. When I woke up it was 5:10 and I was scrambling and not mentally prepared to get myself together to get up and go the gym for less than thirty minutes.

I did not get to the gym and I was ready to be all self-deprecating and nasty, but then I turned lemons into lemonade and took the opportunity to have a conversation with my husband, jump in the shower early and actually take time to get ready (hello, hairdryer and hot rollers, I have missed you).

I might make it to the gym tonight, I might not have the time or the cooperation from my little alarm-messer-upper, but I have to be okay with that.  Sometimes life just gets in the way and that is that.

I have greatly deprived myself this week of food.  I have replaced two meals a day with Glucerna Shakes and have had a very small dinner each night.  This is not a lifestyle that I will be able to keep up forever, but I am doing it because I wanted to see if I could and I also needed to cut back and make better choices so this is sort of a jump start.

Through the week I have learned a few things about myself:

  1. When given a challenge I am up for it.  Even though there have been several moments this week that I have wanted to eat something beyond my plan, I did not do it because I didn’t want to let myself down.
  2. I can live off a lot less food then I have been eating.  It is amazing to me how much less intake my body really needs. Although my mouth felt deprived, my body did not.  I never had a headache, stomach growling, or any signs of starvation 🙂
  3. I actually feel physically and mentally “lighter” when I am not eating so much.  I am definitely a bulk eater, but when I eat less I actually feel lighter even if I haven’t lost any weight.  Maybe the doctor is right…if you stick to 4-5 ounces of food every 3-4 hours you will feel a shift in your body almost immediately…hum.
  4. I thought I would be much more cranky, but I am actually much happier.
  5. I am such an emotional eater that I have had to find new outlets for stress and anxiety.  This week I have been trying to read magazines, do extra things for work, and find something that makes me happy other then food.  This has definitely been the most difficult task!

A Day in the Life

I always love reading “Day in the Life” blog posts, so I thought I would try my hand at it today. 

To preface, I am a full time working mom of three kids (ages 6, 5, and almost 2) and a puppy (2 months old). My days usually start the same way but differ depending on the day because of activities as well as my husband’s work schedule (too crazy to even write about). Here we go…
 4:35: My alarm goes off and I lay in bed for about 5 minutes before getting up very quietly, brushing my teeth, and getting dressed in my workout gear.

4:45: Head downstairs to let Biscuit out. I was pleasantly surprised that he has not peed in his bed (we are in the midst of training) and he went out, did his business, and we came right back in.

 

sleeping or crazy…we ❤️ extremes

 
5:05: Arrive at the gym…plug in my headphones, turn on Netflix (currently binge-watching “House of Cards”) and jump on the treadmill. Today I am doing a treadmill circuit that I found reading Laurel’s blog. It is intense, but keeps me on my toes and the hour flies by. Every other day I take a “Bootcamp” style class, but Tuesday and Thursday I am on my own.
6:10: My workout is finished and I am heading home. I contemplated getting a coffee at the café, but then decided against it (we are budgeting down to the cent right now and I didn’t feel like the purchase was justified).
 

looking sweaty and tired

 
6:20: Back at home, showering and getting ready for the day. I have really sacrificed doing my hair for a morning workout, so I wear a variation of a bun almost every day.

  

this shirt is big maybe?

 
6:40 Megan is up, the puppy is barking and chaos ensues for the next 30 minutes as I get everyone dressed, fed, brushed (hair and teeth), finish last minute homework, etc, etc

 

that uniform

  

always into something…always

  

7:15 Out the door and headed to Mamaw’s (my mother in law) to drop Ryan off. Tyler was too tired to get out of bed so he is staying home with daddy…they will do a bit of homeschool preschool (this is a long story for another day, another time…we are not homeschool people, we sort of fell into it) and get a haircut before he drops Tyler off before work.
7:45 Arrive at work, drop Meg off at Kindergarten and start preparing for the day. I have the “Breakfast of Champions” (Glucerna Shake) prior to my student’s arriving.

8:05 My students arrive and it is a crazy busy day. I teach 7th and 8th grade Religion and this time of year there is just so much going on. My 8th graders will be confirmed next week and we are planning a prayer service for the school so it is all sorts of organized but hectic times. 

 

they sing like angels

 
12:45 Lunch is…you guessed it, a Glucerna Shake and an apple for snack around 10:45. I am really trying to replace two meals a day with shakes this week because I need to get back on track food-wise and shakes are the easiest, most effective way for me to stay on track during the day (andplusalso, I am super busy and can’t stop for anything!!!)

3:00 School is out for the day, Megan comes to my room so I can get some things done and wrap-up for the day. I should note that I LOVE LOVE LOVE having Megan at my school all day. Even though I don’t see her often it is such awesome to have her near me during the day.

3:45 Pick up the boys and talk to MIL for a few minutes

4:00 Back to the gym!!! I am really trying to step up my game this week (remember I have a goal of losing 40 pounds (I am about 12 pounds away right now) before May 20) so I am trying to get in a second workout as many days as I can. This time is the Elliptical Trainer for 45 minutes and I am a sweaty mess when it is over. By the way, the kids hang in the gym daycare…sometimes I feel very guilty about this since they have been away from me all day…but most of the time I have to think I am giving them a gift of healthy habits and a mom who is dedicated to keeping fit and active.

 

notice the sleeping child in the back seat

 
5:00 Home, let Biscuit out, play, dinner, play at the park, homework, Biscuit, baths, stories, TV, play, pack clothes for Mamaws, play, snacks, rinse, repeat.

 

walking the neighborhood…it’s what we do

 
7:15 Put Ryan to bed while the other two play quietly or watch a show downstairs. Not to brag, because M & T were not very good sleepers at all, but Ryan is like the perfect baby to put to sleep; put a night-night diaper on, clean jammies, lay him in bed with about three drops of milk and he is gone for the night.

  
7:30 Let Biscuit out one more time for the night and drag M & T up to bed. Brush teeth and read one more book to them (Biscuit books, of course). They settle in at about 8:00.

8:00 Clean up the house like a mad-woman, pack lunches for the next day, do a load of laundry, watch TV, read blogs, get my stuff ready for the morning and pack my gym bag for the next day (I don’t always go in the afternoon, but I always have a bag packed just in case I want to).

9:30 Fall into bed. I am done.

Phoning it In

The phrase “phoning it in” seems to be like a good one for describing how I have been doing on my physician prescribed diet this month. I have been about 50% invested in it and am expecting to get sub-par results when I weigh-in this weekend.

original

This has nothing to do with anything, but I think it is so funny

The thing is, I really want this.  I do.

But, I also have a food addiction which causes me to think out of my mind sometimes.  It is so easily to mentally plan all the right things, shop for the groceries, and write everything down. It’s the emotional part that sucks the life right out of me. I can’t seem to handle keeping everything together for long stretches of time.  If I am doing well on my exercise, then my eating takes a hit. If I am feeling good emotionally, then I am physically feeling bad.  It is seriously like a minute by minute struggle. And it goes on and on and on ad nauseum.

The struggle bus is a rough one to be on.  And I am on and off of it like 100 times a day.

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This week my focus is to have as perfect of a week as I possibly can.  I am going back to basics…meal replacement shakes, plenty of exercise, healthy dinner options, and a treat at the end of the day if I want one.   As Ronald Reagan said. “JUST SAY NO!” to all of the treats and such that wreck my plans.

I know I can do it.  And I know I can still meet my mini-goal of being down 40 pounds (12 pounds to go!) by the time I go to Washington DC in May.  It will take work, but it will be WORTH it.