Full disclosure…I am thirty (maybe more) pounds lighter than I was last summer I say maybe more, because prior to December 8th I had not weighed myself in over a year and I might have gone up or down a few times during that time.
I am proud to be moving in the downward direction. I am starting to see a bit of a change in how my clothes fit and how I look in pictures and all of that good stuff.
This weekend was Confirmation for my students and I actually did not dread getting dressed for it. In fact, I almost felt like I had a new wardrobe of dresses to choose from. I felt confident and like I actually looked presentable for the event. I had a great day. When I got home I played soccer in the park with Megan while watching Ryan and Tyler play on the playground. After that Shawn started a fire in the pit (it got a little chilly so it was a perfect night for it), I made dinner on the grill and we just hung out together. The weather was beautiful and when I laid my head down at the end of the night I felt like a complete success as a wife, mother, teacher, and friend.
Yesterday my family decided to cash in all the gift cards we have saved over the past year to get our Kings Island passes. For our family KI is like a second home. We pretty much spend every weekend of the spring there and in the summer we go almost every day. The water park is where we spend most of our time with a park day mixed in on days that it is a little rainy or overcast (we have been to this rodeo a few times and know what the best times to go are). It also felt good to get dressed to go to KI yesterday I put on shorts and they slipped right on and I had plenty of tops to choose from. I even went on a few rides and it felt good to sit in the seat thirty pounds lighter.
Then Megan wanted to go on the Racers. It is a roller coaster that was built in the 70’s and you might have seen it featured on the Brady Bunch. As most fat people know, being able to fit comfortably in seats is a major issue, whether it be a lawn chair, a dining room chair, booths in restaurants, or any type of seat that has arms. You spend a lot of time speculating on if you will fit or not. I knew as I was walking up and saw people sitting there that it was going to be interesting…
Well, my friends, that fit was TIGHT. I mean so tight that I was completely uncomfortable and felt like a stuffed sausage in the casing. UGH…I hate that feeling. And I had a reality check…I may have lost thirty pounds and I am super proud of that but I have a ways to go and I need to keep plugging along.
I don’t want my kids to think of me as the “fat mom” who had to sit on the sidelines while they participated in life. I want to be the type of mom that gets out there and experiences things alongside her kids. This, in a nutshell, is why I spend so much time thinking about food, calculating food, researching food, exercising, etc. Because, at the end of the day my identity matters. My kids deserve the best mom in the world and I deserve to be the best mom I can be. Through all the ups and downs of this journey I know that in the end their happiness and my happiness is all that matters.
So that is why even though I was so tired this morning and I had to drag myself out of bed I still did it, because I know the only way I can go in the right direction is to do hard things.