In an effort to get out of my little funk I went ahead and got a workout in this morning. That makes six days in a row and I am super proud of myself for that.
Things have not worked out as planned this week on the workout front (aka I overslept 3/5 days) but I managed to still get it in everyday this week which was one of my goals. I also have been drinking a ton of water and pretty much nailed my protein goal.
This afternoon the kids and I snuck over to the pool for a few hours and it was so nice. Megan passed the swim test so she is officially able to go off the diving board (she is psyched!) and Tyler almost passed which is a miracle since he wouldn’t even put his head in the water last summer.
After hashing it out yesterday in my head I have decided to really embrace the next couple of weeks and make the most of the end of summer. My kids will never be this age again and will never have this summer back, so no matter how I am feeling I need to make it great for them (and me).
Have a great rest if the weekend everyone! Get out there and do something fun!
I feel like I am in a funk.
This has nothing to do with weight loss but more so life.
I always start to feel like I am a little bit in limbo come late July/early August. With school starting back up in three weeks, change is upon us and I start to feel all sorts of happy and sad at the same time.
Happy because I love teaching and I love my students.
Sad because I love slow mornings and hanging out with my family.
But this summer, if I am being honest, Megan and Tyler are sort of driving me nuts. Their listening skills have been sub-par and their attitudes have really gotten on my nerves. I think we are all ready for them to get back to school. The schedule will be good for them. Earlier bed times will be great for them. Structure will be amazing for them.
And I think we need some time apart. Like a little break up…
And I think Ryan could also use a change of pace. And a little alone time.
So, no, we are not having Friday Funday. We have not done anything fun in a week. With football and cheerleading and tennis camp we have had no time to do anything.
But I am going to try and do a Litte something fun tonight. Maybe ice cream or the pool or something.
Ugh…I need to get out of this funk.
I have a love/hate relationship with the scale right now. Actually, I am not sure if my scale is really a good indicator of weight loss. It seems to be off about 10 pounds at any given time depending on where it sits in the laundry room. I keep telling myself to just weigh in at the gym, but that would be too easy emotionally 😩…I like to make things hard on myself!
One of the best things I did for myself was take all of my measurements the night before surgery. I took waist, hips, bust, and legs. It was something that a lot of people encouraged me to do and I am glad that I did it. Because, in fact, measurements do not lie. They cannot be manipulated, they cannot be changed by standing a different way, they just are what they are.
So this morning I thought I looked like I had dropped some pounds. I feel like my upper body is definitely looking smaller. So I decided to get out my trusty tape measure and take a look. Well, here are the facts:
Waist = -4 inches
Hips = -4 inches
Chest = -6 inches
Legs = no change
So, basically in about a month I am down 14 inches. That is nothing to sneeze at! Yay for me.
I also noticed at the gym today that my fitness is really improving. I walked/ran 6 miles and ran a lot of it! I loved feeling sweaty and accomplished at the end.
Feeling sweaty and fabulous selfie!
Ps…I love not having a double chin.
I have been an emotional eater all of my life. I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad, I eat to celebrate, I eat to suppress my feelings. I basically have spent a good portion of my life eating all the time.
Five weeks ago eating was ripped away from me in the best possible way. I was given the opportunity to start over and get a handle on the abusive eating that has plagued me most of my life.
It is the most difficult thing I have ever done.
While eating is what has gotten me to the morbidly obese category in life, it has also made me very, very happy. It was my best coping mechanism.
And now it is gone.
I can no longer eat for pleasure and I can no longer use food as a source of comfort. So it has been a little trying navigating life without my favorite comfort. I have to find other outlets and that kind of change is hard for me.
This has not been an easy couple of emotional weeks and at times I am completely wrecked with anxiety because of it. My trusty friend (food) is no longer a compadre, so I have to work through things in a much more healthy way. A way that I am totally not used to…communicating my feelings, exercising, writing in a journal…
However, it is going to take more than a month to sort this all out; I have a feeling I will be sorting this relationship out for the rest of my life. I can see why after such a major life change people change their personal relationships as well.
I have pretty much embraced early morning exercise since I decided to change my life for good in January. I like the idea of getting it done before most of the world is even awake. I feel accomplished at the end of the day when I know a workout is just part of my routine now.
With early morning workouts also comes the frustration sometimes of not getting enough sleep or your schedule just being “off.” Last night I got everything out for an early morning walking. I went to bed at a decent hour and was prepared for Tuesday…that was until the smoked detectors started going off in our house around 2:30 am. Ugh. Super annoying. They would not stop and I guess I am the only light sleeper in the house because I was the only one up. After I checked to make sure nothing was, in fact, on fire, I tried to figure out the problem. Ours are hard-wired, so when one goes on the fritz they all do. Fun. Not.
I finally narrowed it down to one (at 4:18 am) and at that point I was having major anxiety and panic. I laid my head back down and needless to say my early morning workout was a bust.
Instead of calling it a day of rest I got up and got Megan ready for tennis camp, she looks professional…
When Shawn and Tyler took her Ryan and I headed for the trails. I didn’t have a time or goal I for mileage in mind, but I ended up walking/hiking 6 miles pushing my 35 pound little guy in the stroller.
In the end I felt sweaty and accomplished. A total win for me. I beat laziness today and I am super proud of that! It was hot and humid and tough, but I did it. I actually felt like a legitimate athlete today. I love that feeling.
The rest of the morning has been spent paying bills and planning for the next month before school starts.
I have also gotten in 40 ounces of water this morning.water has been hard for me because I was never a huge drinker before surgery and now it is important that I meet that goal on the daily. I am also trying to eat some good and wholesome food today.
What did you do today to make you feel proud?
I enjoyed the last post I did about five things (pictures) on my phone so I thought I would do one today.
1. My kids went to the dentist last week and Tyler got his first set of x-rays. They also had five cavities between the two of them. Ugh. #motheroftheyear
2. This picture was on my Facebook feed from three years ago. Man, it feels like yesterday that they were this little. I wish time would slow down just for a little while.
3. Ryan loves Tyler’s helmet. The kid is ready for football at age 2. In fact, he may be bigger than some of the kids on Ty’s team.
4. I always ALWAYS have random pics on my phone that one of the kids took. I think this was at an indoor mall playground. Good times.
5. Megan bundled up. We all have to have covers pulled up to our chins at all times when relaxing.
Have a great day!
I know the rest of the country is feeling it too, but it is so darn HOT here. Yesterday we went to a family reunion and thank God there was a pool or I would not have known what to do. I think we (all 5 of us) were in the pool for about 7 hours. Needless to say we were a bit crispy at the end of the day and oh so tired!
With the family reunion came overnight guests (an unexpected great surprise!) so Tyler was able to spend QT with his favorite cousin.
We are now in full swing football and cheerleading. It has been fun to get into it with the kids but so exhausting as well. Because the heat is so intense it makes everything seem like more work.
I have really been thinking about some goals for this week and here they are:
1. Take my vitamins everyday.
2. Drink at least 64 ounces of water and 60 grams of daily protein.
3. Exercise 5 days
I know I can do it. I have to write it down to keep myself accountable.
What are your goals for the week?
This journey since surgery has left me very confused. I think I should bullet point it…
- I have lost a good amount of weight, but all of my current wardrobe still fits me. This leads me to believe that 1) I was wearing my clothes way too tight before and 2) things may be fitting how they should all along.
- I assumed the weight would be falling off of me at this point. I mean, I am eating <800 calories a day…but it is slow at times and that is confusing/frustrating.
- Along with eating very little, my energy level is sky high. I would have thought I would be tired all the time.
- I am still in the liquid stage of the diet which means my options are super low…protein shakes literally make me gag. So what am I suppose to sustain myself on? For serious.
- My journey has been a confusing set of emotions every day of my life. I hope it gets better. My psyche can’t take it.
Have a good weekend! I will be back on Monday with a Month #1 recap.
Action shot from the bigs!
After VBS ended on Friday afternoon, we shipped these two sweet things off to Grammy’s house for a few days…
Look alive people, look alive
They love hanging out with Grammy and Grammy loves spoiling them so it works.
With M & T taken care of and Shawn working Friday and Saturday I got to spend quality time with the family favorite…
He played with this basket for a good hour
I think I am obsessed with Ryan. Serious. I might need an intervention. He is the sweetest, cutest, most adorable baby and I love spending time with just him. Poor Ryan is basically dragged wherever the big kids need to go and I have very little uninterrupted time with him. So, it was an absolute joy spending time with him alone. #thirdchildproblem
We spent a good amount of time just hanging out at home. He loves playing with his toys and cuddling and just having the house to himself. We also went to Kings Island which is a real treat because he never gets to spend quality time in kiddy land.
Sunday we did church (total fail) and then grocery shopping and a bit of cooking before heading to Mamaws and Papaws house for dinner. I made two new recipes one for mini veggie egg muffin cups and one for cauliflower mash. They are bothe good, but not worth sharing the recipes…unless someone really wants them.
I started back to my regular exercise class this morning. It was a good one! Pee-Wee football starts tonight so I have basically sold my soul to football paractices for the rest of the summer and fall. So there’s that.
What does your week look like?
I had my post-op appointment with my surgeon yesterday. He was extremely happy with my progress and I was released from his care back to Ivann (the PA) for further treatment. I will be seeing him every six weeks for the next year.
Dr. Thompson spent a lot of time with me yesterday and that felt really good. We talked about the next phase in my weight loss. I need to start for using on two main goals:
- Water and food intake: it is important for me to get around 800 calories a day and at least 60 ounces of water. I know 800 calories sounds really small but I have a very small stomach now that can only handle about 4 ounces of food at a time. My food needs tone packed with protein. Protein first, always. And I need to be eating every three hours.
- Exercise: its time to get back to the gym (I did it this morning!). Exercise is super important when trying to meet my goals. I should be doing something 7days a week with a concentration of 5 days of scheduled exercise and 2 days of just moving (walking/hiking with the kids, playing soccer in the yard, etc.) I am so thankful because when I went to the gym this morning that have added a Thursday am class (I have been “suggesting” this for months) so starting in August I will have class 4 days a week and treadmill once a week. Yay.
With these two goals in my back pocket my concentration for the next six weeks is to become VERY regimented in my exercising and eating. I want to lose a good amount of weight in the next six weeks and I have a number in mind that I would like to be at by the time school starts.
I fee really good about where I am and where I am going. For the first time in a long time I feel very happy with where my life is headed.
What goals do you have in the next six weeks?
Feeing more “normal” sized !