Food For The Journey

I have been an emotional eater all of my life. I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad, I eat to celebrate, I eat to suppress my feelings. I basically have spent a good portion of my life eating all the time.

Five weeks ago eating  was ripped away from me in the best possible way. I was given the opportunity to start over and get a handle on the abusive eating that has plagued me most of my life.

It is the most difficult thing I have ever done.

While eating is what has gotten me to the morbidly obese category in life, it has also made me very, very happy. It was my best coping mechanism. 

And now it is gone. 

I can no longer eat for pleasure and I can no longer use food as a source of comfort. So it has been a little trying navigating life without my favorite comfort. I have to find other outlets and that kind of change is hard for me.

This has not been an easy couple of emotional weeks and at times I am completely wrecked with anxiety because of it. My trusty friend (food) is no longer a compadre, so I have to work through things in a much more healthy way. A way that I am totally not used to…communicating my feelings, exercising, writing in a journal…

However, it is going to take more than a month to sort this all out; I have a feeling I will be sorting this relationship out for the rest of my life. I can see why after such a major life change people change their personal relationships as well.

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