When Things Get Hard

I did not want to get up this morning.

Like, I hit snooze three time and missed my wake-up time by 20 minutes.

For a fleeting moment I was laying in my bed thinking about calling it a day. 

What’s one work-out? Who really cares? I can just walk in the afternoon? I can find a time to get it done.

But that was the old me talking. The lazy girl who could find an excuse for everything. And I don’t want to be that girl ever again.

So I picked myself up (literally) and got myself to my cardio class just in time. 

And you know what? I felt amazing. It was tough and it was intense but it was exactly what I needed.

I rocked it today.

Go me!


What Am I Eating?

Well, it’s been two month since my life changing surgery and my life has really changed.

One of the things that is difficult to manage when you have surgery is how little food the body needs to function. Before I was absolutely obsessed with food…like I couldn’t get enough at any given time. Now food takes the back-burner to a lot of things. It’s weird.

So I decided to document what I eat in case anyone was interested.

Breakfast: Premier Protein shake with a tablespoon of peanut butter and ice blended. (250 calories)

Full disclosure…I am completely over protein shakes. It takes all I have to choke it down, but at 33 grams of protein I know it is the right way to start my day. 

Morning Snack: Sargento Balanced Breaks. Love them, all of them. (180 calories)

Lunch: Four ounces of shredded beef and a 1/2 cup of green beans (200 calories)

I try and stay low with carbs the majority of the day. Mostly because they are filling and I have to make sure I meet 60 grams of protein everyday.

Afternoon snack: String cheese and an apple (180 calories)

Sometimes I have this, sometimes I don’t. It just depends how I feel.

Dinner: Flat-out BBQ chicken pizza (225 calories)

This is so good and a caloric bang for your buck. I could eat it every night ~ in fact I have had it three nights in a row. I can only eat about 1/2 of this in one sitting.

So that is approximately 1,000 calories. My goal is 900 with 60 grams of protein. Some days I am more hungry than others. Some days I crave something sweet and indulge. But most days I am right around this number. I feel pretty good about it. I don’t feel deprived and I am losing consistently. I am sure I will change things up as I get further out. I should probably eat more veggies, but sometimes my stomach can’t handle them and I don’t want to be in public (teaching) if my stomach doesn’t cooperate (if you know what I mean!).

I must also say that I am burning between 500-600 calories a day exercising. So there’s that.

What are you eating? What’s your favorite go-to meal?

Last Year This Year

Last year I started school in a very bad place. I was grossly overweight and really didn’t know how I was going to dig myself out of this hole of obesity and general bad health. I was smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. I was tired and cranky and everything hurt both mentally and physically.

I did the classic, “hide behind my child so no one can really see how fat I really am” move on the first day of school.

This year I started school with still a lot of weight to lose but I am a heck of a lot smaller than I was (60 pounds to be exact). I feel good about my health, both mentally and physically. While I was sad to see the summer end, I was happy to make the transition back to my routine.

I walked four miles before the sun came up this morning. 

With each passing day I am feeling more optimistic about life. 

My relationships are better than they have been in a long time. 

I am reaching out to people when I need help. 

Overall I feel like I am more mentally about to be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, co-worker and friend.

I am so grateful for the journey my life has taken me. I will not take this second chance at life for granted.

Happy weekend everyone!

Getting Kicked

Well, I felt sorry for myself for approximately 12 hours and then realized life is way too short to be a Debbie Downer all the time. So, I gave myself a swift kick in the booty and I am moving on.

This picture popped up in my Facebook feed this morning. In three days I will be sending Megan off to first grade and Tyler to kindergarten. I’ve aready write about how I fee about this. Denial is not a river in Egypt.

Yesterday was my first official contacted day at school. I have been up a couple of times getting my classroom together, but yesterday was meeting after meeting after meeting. FUN! But not really.

As most of you know, I have been really pushing to workout big time. I can definitely see and feel the changes in my body.  I especially feel it in my strength. I definitely am seeing some muscle definition, especially in my arms. 

With pushing it comes injuries sometimes. My heel is not feeling any better. I can’t decide if it is my trusty flip flops that is causing the problem or my tennis shoes. I *might* need to go to the doctor…which works out perfectly since, you know, my full time job starts in two days. Ugh.

My plan for the weekend is as follows:

  1. Football game
  2. Night out with the girls (yay!)
  3. Church
  4. Pool
  5. Pool
  6. More pool

We need to suck up every free moment we have! We are also going to try and sneak in one more KI trip before school starts. 


Have a great weekend! Any fun plans?

Enough is Enough

How do you know when enough is enough? Like, with anything in life…whether is be weight loss, marriage, friendships, job, anything. 

When do you know you have reached breaking point and it is time to move on? Shit or get off the pot, if you will.

I think all of us have evaluated and come to this point at some time in our lives.

Last November I was fed up with how I looked and how I felt. After years of yo-yo dieting and full circle moments (weight loss, weight gain, rinse and repeat) I had had enough. I was ready to do something drastic that would change my life forever.

But, as we all know, change is difficult and sometimes it is just easier to not change just to keep the status quo.

But the journey of change, while not always easy, is always worth it.

Since making that decision that fateful day in November I have spent a lot of time evaluating everything in my life. Some changes have been easy, like no longer wearing clothes that don’t make me feel terrific or standing up for myself when I feel like I have a good idea at work. 

Other changes seem to be harder. I have people in my life who I feel are unsupportive and actually kind of sabataging…people who have been a collective “monkey on my back” for a while. I really pride myself on being level headed and I most often times give people the benefit of the doubt on a lot of things. But sometimes, sometimes I sit back and evaluate and think, “When is enough enough??? Is anything ever going to change and if not, do I really want these people in my life?”

I know this is more philosophical than I normally am, but I have had a lot of time to think today and I am really questioning so many things in my life.

I guess that’s all for today…just a little thinking out loud.

Have you ever said “enough is enough” but had a hard time making the change?

One Morning at a Time

It was hard to get up this morning.

My 4:40 alarm always takes me by surprise. I snooze once and am up at 4:49. It’s like clockwork, but I don’t have to like it. I often wonder if this early morning wake-up will ever get easier.

Probably not.

This morning it was particularly hard to get out of  bed. I am having persistent pain in my heal that I am sure needs medical attention (who has time for that???) and I was suffering from a hangover based on Kindergarten Orientation last night.

How in the hell did Tyler get old enough to go to Kindergarten???

Tyler is my baby boy (I know, Ryan is technically the baby, but Tyler is MY baby). When we walked into that classroom last night it took all I had to pull myself together.  The tears would.not.stop. I was such a basket case I couldn’t even go to the parent meeting. Instead I retreated to my car to listen to Justin Timberlake lullabies and cried until it hurt.

This is a tough one.

I am not mentally prepared for him to grow up. His little hand held on to mine so tight when I walked him in the Kindergarten room. And when we met back up for ice cream he wanted me to hold him. Oh, I died a little at that moment.

I know he will have a fabulous year.

His teacher is awesome.

He is ready.

But, my heart, oh, my heart, is not.


I spent the majority of the weekend cleaning out my closets. 

Yes, closets.

For the good part of twelve years have inhibited three closets in my house. 

So, this weekend while my mom was in town I took the opportunity to try on everything I own and decide what I truly love and what makes me feel good. Everything else ended up in the “give away” pile.

It wasn’t necessarily about fit but more about feel. I want to go into this school year feeling physically great in everything I put on.

I am happy to report that all of my clothes are now in one neat closet. It will be so nice to get dressed in the morning.

And I am giving my BFF everything I do not want anymore. She can look through the clothes and decide what she loves and feels good in and then pass the rest on to someone else. It is a total win for all involved.

To reward myself for a job well done I went to JC Penney to look for a new work-put outfit. Can you guess who shopped in the “normal” women’s section?

This girl.

I am down from a 2x/3x to an XL. Happy about that!

We also had football his weekend. Tyler played amazing! Megan cheer coach cancelled cheer because there was a threat of rain (annoying) but since we were there she ended up cheering with only one other little girl. 

She was awesome!