How to fail as a mom and a wife in 10 easy steps:
- Dare to work out in the morning and leave your children fending for themselves during the hours of 4:45 and 6:30 am (with their dad sleeping at home)…they need you, every moment of every day (even when they are sleeping).
- Make a breakfast of eggs, fruit, and whole wheat toast…how dare you try and feed everyone something delicious and healthy…meanie!
- Say “no” when your kids ask if they can have Christmas candy at 7 am…you are the rudest!
- Give your daughter the wrong leggings to wear under her uniform (you know, the ones she loved yesterday)…how could you!?!?!?!?!
- Make your son wear uniform pants and a jacket in 30 degree weather…you unfeeling bi@#h!!!
- When your husband gets home from a 12 hour day, ask him to eat leftovers or a sandwich like the rest of the family did…you are a horrible wife!!!!
- Clean the house so well that no one can find their favorite things that have been laying around for days…are you insane?!?!?!?!?!
- Say Advent prayers every night for about a minute and a half…don’t you know there is TV to watch????
- Punish your two year old for pinching and hitting his sister…that is just how 2 years olds act, you should just ignore it.
- Make your kids take a bath on a regular basis…no one in the WORLD does this but you!!!!