Well, things are not much better than they were last week. But, the good news is, I did get an appointment for April 5 with my doctor.
I am taking it day by day.
I am also trying to express my feelings to my husband in a kinder, gentler way. For instance, instead of getting completely out of control angry when he asks to clarification about something, I am saying, “this makes me very anxious, I am not trying to be mean, I just need you to know.”
It seems to be working okay.
In other news, Tyler is about to lose all of his front teeth.
I am not ready for him to grow up. Tyler is my baby and I love him for it. I don’t want him to grow up too fast. At age 6 he stills holds my hand, kisses me in public, and wants to be held while he is falling asleep. Losing teeth is just a reminder that he will not be the same as he was yesterday.
And I want time to stop.
Let’s see, what else…I am working on my 40 bags for Lent. I spent a good chunk of the weekend finishing the kids rooms and moving on to the kitchen. Man, it is work. But good work. Sometimes it goes unnoticed because most of the junk comes from places that have been hidden (drawers, closets, cabinets) but I do notice the weight off of me. It was so much easier putting clothes away this morning. And I am giving a huge load of boys clothes to a needy school down the road and that feels good. Progress is all I can ask for!
We also started making plans for a vacation this summer. At first I was totally against it, my depression just makes things like this seem like an insurmountable pain in the ass. But, Shawn found a really great deal on a cute place and I am warming up to the idea. I do love getting away and even though the anxious side of me thinks it is a terrible idea I know it will make everyone happy in the end. I did learn a lot about over-packing last summer so I will not make that mistake again! Kids gereally need two bathing suits, a couple of pairs of shorts and a few t-shirts. That’s all.
It’s working, kind of.