Why I Overeat

 

I have no idea why anyone in my house could have a weight problem.

 It has been sort of a crazy couple of weeks over here. Between going to camp for three days with my students and Easter weekend, it feels like forever since I have checked in. 

Camp was awesome. We had beautiful weather and my kiddos were so well-behaved which made it a wonderful trip. I hiked about 6 miles each day and, man, my calves felt it! It took me two days to recover!!! But I was back to my early morning routine yesterday and feeling good.

I take Easter pretty seriously, the triduum starts on Thursday at sun-down and goes trough Easter Sunday. I made it to church several times in the three days and even took an afternoon to pray the steps at Holy Cross Immaculata Church which is an extremely moving experience. Living in Cincinnati for 11+ years, this was my first time and I believe I am going to make it a family tradition.

Easter was food fest.  I tried to makes the best choices I could, but was mostly not successful. Food addiction will do that too you. Also, all the candy!

My kids baskets were filed with a very modest bounty of clothes and one toy. However, baskets from extended family ended up being filled with tons and tons and tons of candy. Not good for those of us on a doctor prescribed diet (or anyone really).

  
We also made it to a pretty fun Easter Egg Hunt. I was in charge of Ryan so I only have pictures of him (I know, I know, I am such a great mom). But I did steal a cute one of Meg and Ty with he man himself!
  
 

So I am back in full force with sort of a normal eating shedule this week. I met friends for lunch yesterday and made a great choice at Pappadeaux. I had the spring rolls and they were so delicious and had very few (140 per roll) and a couple of fried shrimp (100 each). So I need the day under my calorie goal and still satisfied. I am having lunch with one of my BFF’s today and we are going to walk first so I am thinking about making today a little higher calories day since I also did Boot Camp this morning. We shall see.

I hope everyone out there has a great day! It is going to be in the 70’s here!!!

Month #3: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

I cannot believe it has been three months on my doctor prescribed weight loss plan.  This month has been the most difficult of the three, but moving into month four I feel more motivated than ever.  I have a mini-goal of by the time I go to Washington DC with my 8th grade class at the end of May I would like to be down 40 pounds.  This would mean that in the next two months I would need to lose 16 pounds.  I don’t think  8 pounds a month is totally unrealistic, but considering I only lost a pound this past month it is not going to be easy unless I really buckle down and do it.

I was reading OPRAH magazine this morning (the newest issue came in the mail yesterday) and it just happens to be focusing on weight loss.  On page 95 she starts the article by stating, “You can choose. Even if you are carrying the weight of an entire extra person, you can choose. And your heart will thank you. Your knees will thank you. Your tired back and aching feet will be so glad.”  Man, that resonates with me.  I do have to (and can!) choose to be on this journey or not.  Every morning when I wake up at 4:40 to head to the gym I am choosing my health and my personal happiness over everything else.  My health and happiness will have positive affects on other people in my life, but I am doing this for ME!!!!

So, let’s get on with it…

THE GOOD:

• Making it through month #3 without quitting.  My normal pattern with weight loss is that I lose about 20 pounds, it gets hard, and I stop.  Even though I did not lose a ton of weight this month I didn’t gain either so I am happy about it.
• Finally, after three months I can see a change in the way my clothes fit.  I have decided from now on to take my monthly picture in the same shirt so I can see progress.  When I put the shirt on this morning it felt much looser.
• I started drinking Glycerna Shakes for some meals and I actually like how they taste and they do keep my satisfied for a long time.  That is a total win!
• Spring has sprung so it has been nice to get out on walks with my little family and play basketball for hours.  I am looking forward to moving more in the coming months!

THE BAD:

• This has definitely been the hardest month to date. I know it will get harder and harder as the months go on but man this was difficult!
• Sickness rocked my entire family for much of the month and it definitely affected my eating in a not great way.  I know I did not have a big loss because I personally did not eat like I should have.  It stinks, but it is reality.

THE UGLY:

• Lots of bouts with anxiety and depression this month.  I spoke to the doctor about it yesterday and have come up with a plan to deal with it.  Because food was always my vice when things got rocky, it is hard to come up with an outlet for it.
• Very little weight loss.  I know I just said I was happy I didn’t gain, but I am also in the same breath unhappy that I didn’t have a significant loss. 
  

  Ignore the gross school bathroom mirror

   

Shake it Up!

I have been thinking of literally and figuratively “shaking it up” in my diet and exercise plan.  February was not a great month for my weigh loss.  I go back to weigh in officially on Wednesday and I will be surprised if I have lost anything over the course of this past month. I will be happy if the ten pounds of water weight is off.

Realistically, it is all my fault.  I kind of fell off the wagon on many occasions and had a difficult time climbing back out.  With my sicknesses and the kids being sick it did not make for a great combo.  Also, when I work out with a lot of intensity I become ravenously hungry which is not good.  Since I am a food addict, it is hard to keep in control when I have a lot of exercise calories in my bank.

Sooooooooo, I am changing my game plan a little bit.  It involves drinking a lot of these…

Actually, I am trying to drink one of these for breakfast and a snack and then eat a somewhat sensible dinner. I have been doing this since last Thursday and I want to tell you that it has not been horrible.  They actually taste really good and curb my hunger in a great way.  And, mentally when I know I can only have a shake while I am at work it helps me to stay on track.

Two weeks prior to surgery the only thing I will be consuming are these shakes.  Drinking them helps to regulate your blood sugar and clean out (shrink) your liver which is a good thing.  After surgery the shakes are recommended for the first two weeks and then you move to mushy foods and then semi-solid.  I can image a lot of weight is lost within the first month or two after surgery because you are literally eating NOTHING!

The weirdest part about these shakes is when I drink them I don’t miss the food (right now).

I guess it is time to Shake it Up!!!

A Mixed Meeting

I met with the surgeon yesterday who would be performing my gastric sleeve if I decide to have the surgery.

I was somewhat taken off guard when I had an impromptu weigh-in.  I was not ready for it because of two main reasons; one, I started my period on Tuesday and in the first day of my period I generally gain 10 pounds…no joke.  Since I was about 14 I have retained a tremendous amount of water during this time of the month, so much so that my rings hardly fit, my shoes are tight, pants that fit fine the day before can no longer button, and everything feels swollen. The water retention has gotten worse with each child so days 1 & 2 are normally miserable for me. Two, I ate at Red Lobster the night before which causes me to retain water as well. Not a great combo and something I would have NEVER done/scheduled if I had known there was a weigh-in involved.

Not giving excuses (but I am), but yesterday was not the day for a weigh-in.  So, the scale showed that I gained ten pounds which is totally not the case.  I am still bummed about it, but there is nothing I can do about it now.

So, back to the surgeon.  He spoke to me (at me) for about an hour about the surgery, the post-surgery recovery, how to eat, what to eat, how to follow the plan…pretty much everything that everyone else has gone over time after time. I am used to this conversation, I am happy that UC Weightloss Center takes so much time in preparing people for what is to come.  Everyone I have talked to during this journey have been great.

Until yesterday.

The thing is, I did not personally like the surgeon.  Do I think he is competent? YES. Do I think he knows that he is doing? YES. Did he know all the right things to say? OF COURSE.

But I got a sinking feeling with him that I was just a number, that he could not care less about me as a person and I was just another “case” for him to get through. I am sure most surgeons feel like this…they punch a clock, they do their jobs, they go home…but they don’t act like this in front of the patient.  They act as if they care (even if they may not), they act interested in the patient (even if they are not), they act better then he did.

So now I don’t know what I am going to do??????

If I don’t like him and I am not comfortable with him, should I ask to see someone else???

Would I be considered “that patient” if I wanted to see another doctor in the same practice?????

I guess I will sit on it for a few days.  I want to really make a good decision, one that cannot be made emotionally.

 

Back in the Saddle

  
I made it back to my 5:30 class yesterday morning. I felt great and I felt strong.

What a great feeling it is. 

I am sore today.

It Continues…

Oh my goodness, the sickness continues…ear infection, strep and Influenza A; what a combo!  I am starting to feel on the mend.  In fact, I was up and ready to go to the gym this morning at 4:45 but then reality hit and I started uncontrollably coughing and sneezing and a decision was made to take another day.  Ugh…I am ready to be done with this.

Megan and Tyler also woke up sick this morning, but I am thinking they just have a common cold. They are both staying home from school today with low-grade fevers.  Thank goodness for my mother in law who is a saint and takes sick kids into her home.

I feel like my life has been in a hold position for the last week.  I am ready to get back to exercise and the gym.  I sort of crave the feeling I have when I have accomplished something before 6:30 am that some people will never accomplish in the day!  I crave the way my body feels after a good workout.  Weird.

The good thing is, my eating is definitely back on track.  I am focusing on following the prescribed diet to a “T” until my next weigh-in on March 15. I actually kind of enjoy the “Game” of staying on track in my calories.  It is like a puzzle trying to figure out what I can and cannot have to stay in my calories.  I also love the feeling of food not controlling me as it has in the past.  For a moment yesterday I didn’t feel hungry or the need to eat or the pressure to binge.  It was a glorious feeling.  A big deal for me.

What is frustrating about losing weight when you need to lose a lot of it is that you don’t always notice a real difference in how things fit or how you look for a long, long time.  In fact, I can remember the last time I was truly serious about weight loss it was 40 pounds before I could even tell a difference…then from 40-60 pounds the biggest changes occurred.  So, I am holding on to that and keeping my head up even though it is hard sometimes.  I have also had three children in between this time, so my body has definitely shifted and changed in the process.  I have to keep reminding myself of this.

I guess that’s all for today.  Hopefully I will be back tomorrow and able to talk about a workout!